Hello Again!
I intended for my blog to be a journal. Not a diary, but a personal journal- mostly for myself, to document an ordinary life. As I listen to my elderly parents talk about their own lives, I see how mundane, day-to-day life events become interesting and important 50 years later. The little things you don’t normally give a second thought to that make up daily life. After all, every day isn’t all rosey and exciting. We must learn to appreciate the little things each day that are good. To be grateful for little things is a blessing! I’m terrible at a written journal. Before PCs and cell phones and tablets came into being- you know, in “the olden days”- I tried so many times and failed to keep a journal. 😞 Facebook became unsafe to post information and photos. Why do people have to be so bad? Why must they take good things and twist them into bad things, and ruin it for everyone? So after a long hiatus, I have been thinking about my abandoned little blog, and that it would be a good idea to get back to it as a part of trying to get back to a more normal place in my life. But I’m getting ahead of my story here. I should explain...
On June 15, 2015, I came down with a “mystery” illness. I felt horrible. My joints hurt. I went to bed and became almost unresponsive. I think it was a Monday. On about Saturday that same week, I could see things weren’t getting any better and had my husband take me to an urgent care facility. Tests were run. It was discovered my liver enzymes were way out of the normal range. If I remember correctly, the normal range was somewhere in the 40s. Mine were over 500. Hepatitis was suspected, but that test was negative. A tick panel was run, but came back negative also. But I saw my pc the following Monday, and she put me on doxycycline, to which I responded quickly, considering how sick I was. I’m thinking that tick panel was a false negative, since the symptoms fit and the response to the doxy was good. It was never confirmed, but I’m convinced. I’ve never really gotten all the way well again. It’s like my life ended the day I got sick. I certainly don’t feel recovered. I’ve tried to live as normally as I could, but it seems to be of no use. I have no energy, feel weak, can’t remember stuff and seem to spend a good amount of time looking for things I’ve misplaced. I can’t garden anymore, and the yard looks awful. My husband has his hands full of other things- I know he is running as fast as he can. He has proven to be so very patient with me, the man is a saint! I spend a lot of time sitting or laying down. I get so tired so easily! Every space I inhabit in our home looks like a hoarder’s house. I hate it but don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. I can’t do enough cleaning at one time to even be noticeable. I don’t go anywhere except doctor’s appointments, family, and occasionally the pharmacy if my husband can’t go for me. I don’t make it to the stores very often (thank goodness for Amazon! It’s been a lifesaver.), and any fun activities are impossible. It kills me to know I will most likely never see our Oregon property ever again. There are no trips, except I did manage a yearly trip to visit my son and grandson at Fairchild AFB several times, until he was transferred (almost two years ago) to Okinawa. Obviously, that kind of trip is out of the question. It makes me so sad not to be going back to Spokane. I was able to go enough times to come to have favorite places there, and I sure don’t want to forget those wonderful memories! I think I should start digging up photos from those trips and document my visits there. But that will be for another day.
Since most physical activity has gone out the door, I have come to depend on art and crafts that I can do on my bed. I live on my bed. Back and neck problems make it painful to sit at the kitchen table, or even the couch or my “easy chair “ in the living room for very long. But I’ve learned so many new things! I’ve learned about painting- watercolor and acrylic paint pouring, which is new to me, mixed media, to crochet, make little treasure boxes from “up cycled” materials, resin jewelry, paper crafts, polymer clay, and so much I can’t even think of everything. That part has been rewarding. I miss being able to do craft shows. I REALLY miss that. I’m making a real effort to get back outside and do as much as I can. I have some nursery plants that need to be planted, but we had rain last night, making it necessary to wait until the ground dries out some.
I take photos primarily with my phone now. It’s smaller and easier for my arthritic hands to hold. My neuropathy causes me to drop things like crazy now (is that what they used to call “the dropsy”?). It’s so frustrating! Oh, it makes me mad! 😡 Most of the time it’s just a frustration, but sometimes it’s damaging. I try so hard to be careful, but I’m like a bull in a china closet now.
There is so much to write! It will take a long time to fill in the blanks, so to speak. I’ll write those things a bit at a time, as I think of them. So why not start with today, right now? That seems like a good idea to me.
As you may deduce, all these issues have caused some ferocious depression. I take medications, but they don’t begin to kick it. On the news a couple of weeks ago, I learned of this book:
I haven’t gotten very far into the book yet, but I’m not giving up! It gives me some hope. You’ve GOT to have hope. Without hope, there is only despair and darkness. And you can see part of a beautiful bookmark I made! 😊 Link to pattern:
I think I’m all out of energy for writing now. So this will be it for the first new entry, and there is plenty more for another time. At least this is a start, right? It’s a dark, wet day today after last night’s rain, so I think I’ll read some of that book and continue working on a crochet doily I started yesterday. Nobody uses doilies anymore, but I wanted the challenge of a thread project. Here is the progress so far:
Here is the link to the pattern:
http://www.kristinescrochets.com/2019/06/crochet-summer-haze-doily-easy-pattern.html?m=1
Not much yet, I know. It comes slowly. Everything comes slowly now. Under the doily is the top (lid) of a treasure box I’m working on. It also has a long way to go! It’ll get there. My husband has taught me to “peck at” things, and that a little bit of progress is better than no progress. See, she CAN be taught! 😉
To be continued.....
